


Will You Sleep Tonight? Will You Think of Me?

by AlliSter



Category: 11 Drunk Guys (Video Blogging RPF)
Genre: I guess its a highschool AU?, M/M, technically they're in highschool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 05:15:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6642724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlliSter/pseuds/AlliSter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"All I remember was, I left grade 9 being fucking normal and entered grade 10 blushing every time I thought about Luke."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Will You Sleep Tonight? Will You Think of Me?

**Author's Note:**

> Title from: There is - Box Car Racer

There are many words I could use to describe Luke. Funny. Charming...  Distant. That was the weird thing about Luke. We’d been friends since year 2 but he has always been distant. Whenever our conversations got anywhere close to emotional, Luke would shut himself in. I hated it because I never really had anyone to talk to. I always felt like I couldn’t bring things up with him because he’d always try and change the subject. I guess he just has trouble opening up. Physically, he was fascinating. His body was skinny and you could see his veins on his arms.  
 That brings us to right now. Luke is laying down on the opposite side of my couch and it’s really late. We’re watching some foreign film for our French class. I’m not really watching, I suppose it’s kind of difficult to concentrate at the moment.  
“Why’d we decide to watch this so late at night?” Luke questions, disrupting my thoughts. He turns to me and I get to look at his eyes. Seriously, his eyes are gorgeous.  
“Uh, yeah- I mean, I don’t know why” I mumble back. Luke gives me a half smile and goes back to watching the movie. I feel his legs shuffle around next to my legs trying to find a comfortable position. He has these incredible hands. I really love Luke’s hands. I wonder how it’d feel for him to run his hand down my back… I need to stop.   As soon as I had that thought about his touch against my skin, Luke turns to look at me. He gives me a confused smile and looks back at the TV as I quickly do the same. I need to stop thinking about him because he was sitting right next to me, but he’s so cute and he’s all I can think about, especially when his legs are up against mine. From the corner of my eye, I see him turn his head to look at me. Shit. Did he notice me staring at him? Oh god, he knows that I have feelings for him. He hates me, I'm sure of it. 

I don’t quite know when my feelings for Luke began to change, all I remember was I left grade 9 being fucking normal and entered grade 10 blushing every time I thought about Luke. I haven’t really told anyone about my feelings directed at Luke, but I told this girl in my English class last year about my feelings towards guys in general. She was quiet but we did talk about video games together. She was nice and when I told her she didn’t even mind, she just told me that it was okay and that was all I needed. 

“Did you want to go to sleep?” Luke disrupted my thoughts again.  
“Yeah, fuck this movie. The teacher can screw it.” I say standing up and Luke turns off the Tv and Dvd player from the remotes. My family’s lounge room was really small so I had to move the coffee table to make room so we could sleep. Luke lets out a groan as he lies down on the couch. His hair was currently long and messy, it almost covered his eyes it was so long. It suited him, though.  
“You aren’t sleeping on the couch man, if I’m on the floor so are you.” I nag him, smiling. Luke sits up and rubs his face. Sleeping next to him is hard regardless of how many times we sleep next to each other. We sleep on the carpeted floor when someone sleeps over at my house because my mum said that it’d be unfair for someone to have to sleep on the hard ground and the other get the luxury of the couch. I grab two thick blankets out of the linen cupboard and throw one at Luke. The other I drop onto the floor. He throws a couch cushion at me and I also drop that to the floor. Luke stands up with the blanket and a pillow and then lies down on the floor.  
“Can you turn off the light?” Luke asks sticking his head out from underneath the blanket. Why’d he have to be so damn cute? I try and shake those thoughts as I turn off the lights.  
“Aw no, Alex, i’m scared!” Luke fakes and starts giggling. Dammit Luke. I need some sleep tonight. I lightly kick him in the chest as I lay down next to him.  
“Goodnight you loser,” I mumble, trying to get comfortable on the hard floor. Luke just chuckles quietly and mumbles something. What’d he say? What if that was too mean? I shouldn’t have kicked him. I sit there looking in his direction, my eyes haven’t adjusted to the darkness just yet. I wish I could see him. This is going to sound weird but, when I was younger and Luke and I would have a sleepover, I’d watch him sleep. Not hardcore staring at him all night, but sometimes I would wait until he was asleep just so I could look at his face. Staring at him during the day wasn’t acceptable between guys but his face was angelic almost. Absolutely beautiful. I’m sure I didn’t have feelings for him when I was younger, though. That was the weird part. I only noticed my feelings for him this year. Was I always like this? Why did I have to fall in love with Luke? If it had to be a guy, why couldn’t it be someone I don’t have to talk to every day.   And it wasn’t even just his face that enticed me, it was everything about him. Fuck. He was so nice to everyone. He was so pleasant to be around because he didn’t sit around bashing others life choices or physique like Matty did. He spoke positively about almost everyone. His lips look so damn soft all the time, he must use moisturiser on them. I wish I could touch them. With my lips. I wish I could touch his lips with my lips. That’d be-  
“Alex, why are you staring at me?” A confused Luke spoke through the silence of the living room.  
“Uh... I’m not?” I reply hesitantly. I’m not? Bullshit. Yes, I am, He must be able to see me because my eyes still haven’t adjusted. Fuck.  
“I can see you staring at me. It’s dark but it isn’t that dark.” He says amused.  
“I dunno, I’m just thinking. Sorry, I’ll stop.” I mutter apologetically. My face is hot as I slam my eyes shut. Luke lets out a laugh.  
“About what?” Luke smiles. I know he’s smiling. I’m never gonna hear the end of this one.  
“Nothing,” I say bluntly. Shit.  
“No seriously.” Luke pauses. His voice changed. It’s softer now. “What are you thinking about?”  
You. Just say it Alex. No, lie to him. Say that you were thinking about the film. Don’t tell him! He’ll know!  
“You.” I whisper. Goddammit. I couldn’t help myself could I?  
“What? Are you gay?” Luke asks, sounding genuinely interested in my answer. My face grows redder and hotter than I’ve ever known and my ears start feeling warm. Be honest with him. He’s your best friend! Exactly, he’s my best friend! What if he rejects me. He wouldn’t. It’s Luke. He’s the nicest boy you’ve met. If you asked nicely, he’d probably also keep it to himself. The room goes silent for a few seconds. An awkward pause as Luke waits for an answer.  
“Well,” I start, trying to figure out how to use English. “What if I was?” There was another pause in conversation in the room. God, he hates me. He knows I’m gay. I’ll just pretend it was a joke. We’re known to have “no homo” moments, especially at school.  
“I’d say,” Luke paused again. “Same.” What. My eyes have fully adjusted to the darkness now and I can see the brunette's expression. It’s a twisted, almost terrified expression. I can’t believe this. Luke is gay? Like me?  
“Really?” I almost shout, excited to have found someone else. Especially someone I happen to like.  
“Yeah…” Luke whispers. He sounds sad. I feel my chest get heavy. That ‘yeah’ from Luke just broke my heart. Is he crying? I’ve never seen him really sad. I shuffle in closer to him until there’s barely 3 inches between us. I still can’t tell whether or not he’s been crying.  
“When’d you figure it out?” I ask, has he always known this. Even when he’d sit on my lap as a ‘joke’ at breaks. Luke mumbles something but again it’s inaudible.  
“A while ago.” He murmurs. I stay quiet. Digging deeper might make him retreat. If either of my parents came in right now… I’d be in trouble, to say the least. 

I brush some of his hair out of his eye then drag my thumb across the top of his eyebrow, eventually resting my hand below his ear. I see it now. I see a trail from his tears awkwardly going over his nose because we are still laying on our sides. His face isn’t the same cheery self. It’s different. I’ve never seen him with such lack of emotion unless he’s asleep. Luke props himself up onto his elbow and pauses. What if this was all just a sick joke? Luke’s eye-contact with me ceases as he looks down at his fingers.  
“Well, what are you thinking about?” I ask. I just want to hear his voice but that question might’ve gone too deep. What if he shuts me out like usual? He tilts his head up to say something but then swiftly moves his head towards mine and kisses me. It was only for a second but he kissed me.  
“I’m sorry,” Luke says quickly. He covers his face with the blankets. He was still adorable as hell but it hurt me to see him like this. Luke took a shallow breath, holding back his tears with his face still in the sheets. I don’t say anything. I can’t. What could I possibly say to help? From all the years I’ve known Luke he’s never been this open. He’s crying in front of me. I feel so helpless. I still feel his lips on mine but I wish they were actually still there. I move in closer to him and he slowly moves his face out of the blankets to look at me. His brown eyes melt my little heart. He lifts up his blanket, inviting me under and our bodies press together. It was nice. Is this really happening, because it feels like a dream? I start drawing little circles on his hip with my finger, his shirt had come up a bit since we had moved. I need to kiss him again. He’s too cute and he’s right in front of my face. I move my face towards his, and our noses touch. A smile spreads across my face. I can’t help it! He’s so cute! I press my lips to his, this kiss lasting longer than the previous. My hand moves up to his upper arm and Luke’s hand rests on my jaw.  
This is happy.  
I didn’t expect the sleepover to end up like this. Our mouths opened ever so slightly because we both had no experience in this area. I pull away. Great, now I regret pulling away because I now just want to kiss him again. His face is still different. Gorgeous, but still sad. It’s obvious that he’s been thinking about this for a long time.  
“Please don’t be sad,” I mumble. He sniffs, another tear runs down his face.  
“I’m not.” He responds quietly. I knew he was sad, but I also knew that he had a difficult time admitting that. 

He calms down and nuzzles his head into my chest.  
“Alex?” He asks like a child. I can’t help but smile.  
“Yeah?”  
“I like you.” Luke hesitates and my smile gets bigger than it already was. My heart rate quickens of the thought of holding hands with Luke, taking him to prom and going on movie dates.  
“But this can never leave this room.” Luke states clearly. It was scary how quick his voice changed. My heart dropped. I don’t know what to say.  
“I’m being serious. If my parents find out-”  
“I know.” I cut him off. “Your secret’s safe with me.”  
“You _are ___my secret!” He mutters into my ear which sent chills down my spine. I kiss him again, my lips reaching his neck before I pull back. He thinks for a moment. What does he think about in that little head of his?  
“Hmm… okay, outside of this room is fine, just as long as my parents don’t find out.” He says cheekily and kisses me again.

_I definitely did not expect that._


End file.
